What is your WHY?

I’ve contemplated day in and day trying to find my why. Every entrepreneur podcast I listen to the constantly talk about “find your why.” It has taken me the longest time to nail it down but after listening to Jenna Kutcher’s Goal Digger podcast, I think I’ve almost got it nailed down.

Well, I love to connect with people. I love to be creative. I love to share my life.

I’ve always loved creative writing. I was in writers club and speech in high school. I’ve loved performing and sharing and I even love public speaking. My mom always joked that as the youngest of five I had to speak up to be noticed or heard. That was no problem for me.

When I was in high school, I connected to people through music and through songwriting. I played guitar and wrote lyrics. I competed in songwriting competitions and sand at open mics. I loved meeting people and connecting with them.

I placed second at regional Texaco Country Showdown singing my own songs that I wrote the day after I met Craig.

When I got to college and hit nursing school, I stopped writing music. I’m not sure why. The lyrics that would keep me up at night bouncing around in my head faded. My guitar collected dust. I was too busy.

Over the past several years, I’ve felt like something was missing. I’ve longed for a hobby. I’ve longed for a sense of belonging. I had my work, I had my kids, but I did not have any kind of creative outlet. I longed for connection. I longed for the sense of pride and the excitement of putting something out into the universe and being so proud of it.

Of course I can tell this all now. I can see the void that needed to be filled in hindsight. I can tell I needed somewhere to channel my sometimes hypomanic energy but at the time, it felt lonely. I felt like I was looking for something. I felt like I wasn’t living up to my full potential. Depression set in. Anxiety built up.

I tried so hard to find what I was looking for. I tried selling LuLaRoe, I started an antique business, I tried joining a gym, I bought fabric and was going to try and sew, I was filling my time with everyone else’s hobby but my own.

Back when I used to sell LuLaRoe…another blog post for another time…

If you asked me what my dream job would be, it would be a professional blogger, an advocate for the nursing profession, a public speaker, and overall “creative.” I wanted to tell stories, educate and connect with people. I listened to the very first chapter of Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis on a Tuesday. On Friday, September 27th, my late father’s birthday, I published my first blog post.

Now I’m not suggesting that if you start a blog it will cure your depression and anxiety but having a creative outlet and a feeling of connection has been so beneficial in all aspects of my life, specifically my mental health.

So if you haven’t heard of Rachel Hollis, she’s very inspiring obviously. Just the first chapter of that book silenced all of my fears and objections. I’d contemplated starting a blog for so long but when I heard “You are made for more” “just START!” and “the world needs what you have to offer” it hit me on just the right day at the right time.

There you have it folks! I think that is my WHY for now. I think your “why” can change and evolve over time. It’s also something I do for me – not for anyone else ironically.

Do you have a why? Or are you just as sick of that question as I was?

It honestly made me feel like a phony when I couldn’t think of a WHY because they really push it in all of the business/entrepreneur/self improvement space.

When you’re stuck or when things get hard you’re supposed to remember your why and why you started in the first place.

It also helps me make decisions about my blog – does this help me tell stories? Does this help me connect with people? After all that’s WHY I’m doing this. See? 🙂

Thanks for reading friends!!! See you all tomorrow!!!

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