Carver is not a good sleeper.
I love him dearly but Oh. My. Gosh. Carver does not sleep well.
This has gotten progressively worse since he’s gotten older and especially since my Dad died. Usually around 3 am he will crawl into our bed until I kick him back into his bed and then he’ll wake up at 5 and tell me he’s hungry and thirsty and then back to his room and then crawl in bed with Gannon and wake him up and blah blah blah. Bottom line, Carver has been driving us crazy at night.
We’ve tried establishing a routine. We get our jammers (pajamas) and a paw patrol (night time pull up) and then we play favorites. Favorites is a game we play. Carver asks each of us what our favorite part of the day is and then he asks us each what made us mad or sad or angry and then we share what we want to do tomorrow.
Then we tuck him in, we do a huggie and a kissy and an ugga mugga (which is from Daniel Tiger – like an eskimo kiss we rub noses together). Then we have to leave the light on and the door open and then we HAVE to go to bed otherwise he will sit on top of the stairs and cry until we come to bed.
We thought we were doing everything right. Carver never once co-slept in our bed as a baby. He was always in his crib from DAY ONE. Well then he started taking naps with me in our bed and then when he was sick he would sleep in our bed and when there are fire booms (fire works) he sleeps in our bed and then when there is thunder he sleeps in our bed… UGH!
Mostly Carver is afraid of the dark. He really wants Gannon to start sleeping in his room with him but I told Carver he has to be brave enough to leave his light off all through the night.
Carver has been SO GOOD at daycare the last few weeks, I decided to order him a present. On Tuesday he snuggled up and we picked out a night light on Amazon. I even let him hit the “order” button, Carver said “Where is it?!” I explained it won’t come until Thursday which is still really quick. He said “It’s so hard to wait!!”
It was so hard to wait. He asked about it incessantly until the amazon box FINALLY arrived on Thursday! We immediately turned it on and plugged it in. It is really cool. Check it out:
You can opt to turn the stars on or off but we have it set with the stars and the moon. We also have it set to flash between different colors. As cool as it may be… IT DOES NOT KEEP CARVER IN BED!
But…if you want one, you can find it on Amazon here: https://amzn.to/37TDyAi
This morning I woke up to Carver in my bed AGAIN. Not only that, but a mysterious brown substance all over my legs and Gannon’s face…
Guys – I had to smell it to be sure but it was….
CHOCOLATE!
I interrogated an awfully guilty looking Carver who admitted to tucking chocolate chips into his moose pajamas pocket in the middle of the night, sneaking back upstairs leaving smeary chocolate all over our bed, my legs, and Gannon’s face.
The other morning I went to wake him up and he ripped a piece of paper into a million tiny pieces and sprinkled it all over his bedroom.
*sigh* Well guys, I’m open for suggestions. I have no idea. I read an article about how damaging it can be for little kids to be kept behind closed doors that they can’t open but I think we need to shut his door at night or put some kind of lock on it. Earlier this Summer he got out of bed in the night and somehow fell and had to get staples in his head!
That boy is giving me grey hair at the ripe age of 24. Pray for me friends.
Sigh…. this too will change. I did co-sleep w my kids. But only as babies. as the next on came along I made up a pallet, foam from Joanns, sleeping bag, sheet pillow on the floor If they wanted to come into bed w us it had to be on the pallet.
By the time they started grade school they had all stopped so I guess it was successful.
I had a friend who did the sleep on the floor next to mom approach, and so I tried it and it worked for me as well. A foamy on the floor and have them bring their pillow and quilt with them… sometimes, you have to hang your arm over the side of the bed (doesn’t work with the new, high beds)… but, it was a solution that kept our daughter out of our bed but right beside us. You have to explain that is ok to get out of bed and come to the foamy or mattress but it is not ok to wander around the house (what an adventurer)… Is there a way to install a gate in the hallway that he can’t open? The good news is that you are a sound enough sleeper to not be woken by his wanderings but, at the same time, as he gets older, you don’t want him on the computer or doing other activities that will interfere with his sleeping , growing and healing time. I would consider closing Gannon’s door so Carver can’t get into his room.
Carver is the same age as my granddaughter Sadie. She went through a rough patch about 5 months ago when she wouldn’t sleep in her bed. Set up a little mattress on the floor beside your bed. He can come in your room, but not your bed. Then in a few weeks, make a big fuss about his room/ bed, change it up for a ‘big boy’s and see how that goes
Please don’t lock his door. All I can think of is there being a fire and his door is locked.
I can see your concern of him getting up during the night and getting into stuff. Prayers for a solution so you all can get your rest.
The only advise I can give is to maybe reward him for spending a whole night in his own room? Does he have a clock? Maybe telling him he has to stay in bed until the small hand or number is 6 or 7 or whatever time you agree on. Start small with a color book and crayons or something similar for the first day. Then if he does it for a week, he can pick out a bigger gift or Lego. My son is 23 so it’s been a long time since I have had to deal with that. I am glad it was chocolate. 🙂 Hope you can find something that works soon!
My younger son went through the stage of waking up in the middle of the night and joining us in bed. I let that occur for a few weeks but he was a kicker when he slept which meant I didn’t sleep. My next phase out step was to hold him until he fell back asleep and then place him on a blanket on the floor next to my bed. That happened for a few weeks and then I phased out the holding him part and just put him down on the blanket with my hand on his back. After a few more weeks he started to sleep through the night. My philosophy is that you want to comfort but not coddle so that’s why I started with holding him to calm him so he could go back to sleep. We also had conversations about being a “big boy” and sleeping in his own bed. As I slowly phased out me comforting him, he was able to learn to comfort himself. Hopefully this will be a short phase he’s going through as it’s a big impact on your life!
What about children’s dose melatonin ?
There used to be motion detectors to hang on doors. Gates are another idea. Maybe leaving the baby monitor on for him will help so he can “call” you. As far as the chocolate chips, try putting them into Tupperware or Rubbermaid. A friend’s son could open child proof caps but couldn’t get either of those open. Make sure your house and vehicle keys are in a place Carver cannot reach if he wanders at night. Another friend’s son put a manual transmission truck into neutral and rolled it into a barn. Child wasn’t hurt but the truck took a beating. They started locking house and vehicles after that. Our daughter screamed every night for almost 3 years before we found the Fisher Price tape recorder and read along books. Our son was early to bed and early to rise. We started using the security system that was in the house we bought because he started letting himself out the doors at 5am when he was 2 1/2. Make bedtime as unexciting as possible and not “Fun”. Monitor videos and tv closely, it’s amazing what small thing can scare a child. Our daughter took Cruella DeVille in stride but Jasper and Horace scared her for months. And Grandpa Moo’s death is probably a factor in all this. Children don’t come with instructions and what works for one doesn’t for another. I nearly drove my parents insane as I was a bedtime screamer and my daughters 3 year old son is a screamer too. 3 generations makes it genetic, right? Sometimes, it just has to be lived through but you are not the only parents with this problem. The res of us had a heck of a time figuring it out too and sometimes we never did.
Melatonin worked for my granddaughter. I also bought a spray that had essentials in it that I sprayed on the pillow, but I can’t remember which oils. She’s 24 now. She has a baby monitor in her daughter’s room that plays the same music every night. No words, just music.
I wouldnt pop it the lock on the door. I agree with the others. Both our girls were afraid of thunderstorms so we made a bed on the floor. They knew if they were scared they could come in and crawl in. The both grew to love listening to the thunder and lightening. Eventually they both stayed in their beds