Craig isn’t super romantic. I’ve never been swept off of my feet on a romantic date, I’ve never gotten a pice of jewelry other than my engagement ring, flowers aren’t his thing.
This used to really bother me. I would try to get my mom to help him get me a present, I would hint around what I wanted. Honestly, I was trying to trick Craig into someone he wasn’t. It’s easy to get swept up in the comparison game when you see other couples surprise each other and sporting new jewelry form Valentines day when I’ve never even gotten a card.
In Craig’s defense, he doesn’t care if/when I spent money on whatever I want. We have a joint bank account and he can’t keep a secret or a surprise to save his life. Craig isn’t a bad guy, he just isn’t the kind of guy who finds value in giving or receiving gifts.
That being said, Craig shows his love in other ways. In fact, it just about brought me to tears the other morning.
We bought workout mats for the garage a few months back. I had intended on going out there to work out. The mats are still in the original packaging – untouched. The days got colder, so did the garage, and my intention to work out slowly faded.
The other morning, I went to leave the house to meet my personal trainer and was met with a few inches of unexpected snowfall. I texted her to let her know I wouldn’t be coming because we got a lot more snow than expected and at 5 am, the plows hadn’t touched it yet.
I went back upstairs to let Craig know and he said “That’s okay, we will work out together.”
Okay, Craig DOESN’T workout, or eat healthy, or show any interest in either. This is not a statement that Craig has said before. I was very confused but Craig was very enthusiastic. He jumped out of bed and at 5 am, he ran out to the detached garage, in the newly fallen snow, got the mats, and set them up in my newly cleaned out basement.
He asked us what we were doing, and did a few squats with me as I explained the proper form. He ended up just sitting and chatting with me as I worked out. He brought me down a big glass of water and he fished my air pods out of my car so I could listen to music.
It was just so sweet, I had no idea how much his genuine interest, excitement and encouragement really touched me. It was such a sweet thing to do. He knows how much happier I’ve been since I’ve achieved a healthier lifestyle and he finds little things like this to encourage me and keep me going.
If you need a good workout, here’s what I did – never skip leg day!
Honestly, it was a GREAT workout and I’m still sore as I’m sitting here in the hotel room (snow storm is coming between shifts so I’m staying in town) Every time I see these mats, I’ll remember Craig is cheering me on even if he isn’t great at showing it.
Some of you may read this and think “whoopdy doo he set up some mats” but to that I challenge you to be thankful for the little things. If I were to say to Craig “yeah, nice you want to spend time with me but where’s a new necklace?” I would spend my whole life trying to turn Craig into someone he isn’t and I would be so unhappy waiting for him to change. I’m thankful, I am happy, I am grateful. I find joy in the small moments and kind gestures. What kind of life is it if you can’t do that?
You are wise to appreciate the little things that show Craig does love and care for you. My husband is not a flowers/jewelry/candy guy, either, but I have no doubt he loves and respects me. We have a good life, and it sounds like you do, too!
I agree! My husband doesn’t do extravagant gifts either. We do just get what we want. But, when they do something thoughtful, it’s huge! You are smart to realize that gift. It’s hard to see stuff on Facebook. But , I always say that some people’s husbands may give those fancy gifts, but you don’t know if the spouse instigated it or if the rest of their married life isn’t good.
I’m on team Kalissa/Craig. Craig jumping out of bed to support you is HUGELY loving. Running through the snow for you to get you what you need. Running to the basement to set up workout space so you could meet your goal? Bringing you water? That’s love and compassion and plenty of women don’t get that.
My hubby is also not a romantic in the sense of flowers/jewelry and that’s fine with me. He does the dishes after I cook a meal. He vacuums the carpet. In our early years I once said “someday I will have an Emerald”. Well, on our 20th married Christmas, he gave me a gorgeous emerald-emerald cut with 2 little diamonds, on a sturdy chain (the jeweler told him the dainty chain was a must-he assured the jeweler I would love the sturdy chain). As an OR RN, I stopped wearing rings long before. I always call this my wedding ring. It never comes off and that not-delicate chain has never broken.
I’ll take love over (flower/jewelry) romance any day! I’m glad you’re seeing that so early in your marriage.
Go Craig! 🙂
How sweet, he want to support you and your challenge to get healthier and did all the right things to make it happen. Bummer about the snow and not being able to meet your trainer. Glad your planted in a hotel and staying safe from the bad weather. On a side note, our son was born on Valentines day and all the romantic cards etc stopped, because we had a child who needed to celebrate his birthday. I just smile and tell folks my husband got a pass on that holiday, we got the best gift ever to share and love.
It’s the thoughtful gestures and thank you’s that really show love. Everyday kindness is better than a gift on a day once a year like like Valentine’s Day.
Craig is definitely a keeper.
The love and support Craig showed you in setting up the mats in the basement is more valuable than a hunk of metal and rock. That was a direct deposit into your love account!!! My hubby is like Craig…he rarely even remembers my birthday, but because we run at different temperatures, he got me an electric blanket for the truck so I can be warm enough and he doesn’t have to roast! He also gave me the space and time to take care of my dad for 5 years while being 750 miles from him. Those are the keepers!!
You have the right attitude. I tried to teach my daughters that saying “I love you” means nothing without the actions behind it to prove and show it. Actions speak louder than words. When we were young, before children, my husband did buy me gifts and I still have a lot of them. He doesn’t do it much anymore but, that is ok because he ‘does’ stuff for me. You need to learn to appreciate the small things even though, I did spend a few Mother’s days upset because there was nothing special or a gift. Eventually, I figured it out and let it go and learned to appreciate that the grass got cut or the kids got driven somewhere they needed to go and I had some ‘me’ time. And yes, I buy myself what I want or need and just smile to myself. You both spend time together on your bikes and that to me is more important than jewellery or flowers.
Wise woman, you are! I am not a jewelry person and cut flowers don’t do it for me, but little things like your Craig does would be the best. Oh, how I wish I still had my husband who did those little acts of love. Thank yours and love him the more for them!
Smart girl to recognize a keeper when you have one! Pretty necklaces come and go, flowers whither but thoughtful gestures are the signs of real love!
Had the exact opposite with my first husband. His sister and mother expected expensive purses, jewelry and cut flowers for every occasion. When he bought me a $100 purse, I nearly hit the roof but calmly explained that I didn’t require material things and if he wanted to buy flowers, make it something we could plant in the yard and enjoy for years. My second husband started out the same way, trying to impress me with gifts but was so relieved when I told him it wasn’t necessary because he really couldn’t afford it at the time. He’s also good at helping me when I need it and is supportive of all my hobbies.
I get uncomfortable accepting big gifts like that (even if I were to ever receive one!)
I just lost my husband unexpectedly. He was not flashy at all and very practical. No flowers, rarely a card, but my goodness was he a lover! He was constantly thinking about ways to serve me! I miss him so much! I could look the world over and not find another man with a heart like his! You are right on track with Craig! Enjoy every minute! Love him just the way he is!
I’m so sorry Kimberly. I know there are no words to ease the shock. Take good care. I hope these moments of joy in your lives together gives you comfort.
Kim! I’m so so sorry to hear this. Thank you for your comment and I’m praying you find peace in this difficult time.
You are wise beyond your years, Kalissa. My husband was a mixture. Sometimes he could do the jewelry (seldom) or flowers thing, but more often he showed his love the way Craig does. Much more substance to that. He passed away suddenly nearly a year ago just before our 50th anniversary. I have wonderful memories to sustain me. You have a keeper, believe me. Good job, Craig.
I’m so sorry to hear that Joanne 🙁
Well said! It’s the little things that matter at the end of the day. Enjoy the closeness that it brings.
I must say, the very fact that Craig jumped out of bed at 5am and went out to the garage in the snow to bring your mats down to the basement means that he really cares about you and what is important to you. Then to have him sit down and talk to you about your exercises just adds to the love bucket of your heart. Lucky you!