I’m in a slump.

I’m in a slump guys.

Have you ever heard of Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD? I’m personally effected by SAD every year in February and March. SAD is essentially seasonal depression caused by lack of light, warmth, outdoor activities, when the hours are shorter and there is less light outside.

This year, SAD hasn’t really been an issue up until this past week. I’m tired. I’m irritable. I’m anxious. I’m just really over winter, over the muck, over it.

I’ve been sick since mid February. I had a bad bout of bronchitis followed by a nasty sinus infection that I’m currently on antibiotics for now. I’m so sick of being sick.

The kids are COOPED up. Cabin fever is in full swing. They need to get outside but it’s so disgusting and melty out. I snap a little easier than I should and I yell a little more than I’d like.

I have little motivation to get anything done. I just feel like I’m not making any progress on my goals.

BUT, I know this is temporary. I know that every day the days get longer and the sun shines a little brighter. I know that these antibiotics will help me feel better. I know that sunshine is coming and there are better days ahead.

I just felt compelled to share this with you in case you are also in a slump. I want you to know you aren’t alone. I want you to also know that this too shall pass and there are better days ahead.

A recent suicide in the community really has me thinking about de stigmatizing mental health. How can we normalize counseling and therapy? How can we normalize taking anxiety and depression medications? How can we make our mental health a priority?

So I’ll start with this:

I’m Kalissa. I have an anxiety disorder. I take two different medications to help support my mental health. I’ve spent years in therapy. I am recovering from body dysmorphic disorder. I’ve suffered from depression. I’ve seen a psychiatrist. I am not alone.

And neither are you.

Thanks for reading friends.

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13 Comments

  1. Cindi
    March 7, 2021 / 4:18 am

    Have you tried a ‘happy light’? I’m not sure what they are really called, but they simulate daylight. I have one in my bathroom on a timer, so it comes on while I’m in there in the morning. Using it faithfully has really helped me in the winter.

    • thepinkshoelaces
      Author
      March 9, 2021 / 7:52 am

      I’ve heard of this! I’m going to have to look it up – a few other people mentioned it as well.

  2. Marie Attew
    March 7, 2021 / 8:48 am

    My 49 year old daughter has suffered from seasonal defective disorder since she was about 15 so I fully understand . She kept trying to stop taking medication and finally in her late 20 she realised that she needed them and accepted that her brain was wired differently to most other people. She also had post natal depression undiagnosed for over 3 years which led to her getting divorced from her husband (wasn’t a bad thing) she is now with a lovely man who took her and her two children on and they are happy . Hubby also suffers a bit with SAD so I do wonder if it is genetic. Stay safe and spring will soon be here.xx

  3. Ellie
    March 7, 2021 / 2:06 pm

    I have suffered from SAD for a number of years until I finally realized that there was something out there that could help. Now that I’ve found the right meds and dosage the winter blues are bearable. I’m always glad to see spring and get past mud season but now I know it will end. Spring will come! Hang on ! The end is in sight and you will be on your skates and bike again. Your precious boys will be able to play outside without being covered in mud. Hang in there!

    • thepinkshoelaces
      Author
      March 9, 2021 / 7:52 am

      I’m so excited! Today was 55 degrees! The boys were kicked outside – it was great – I’m scoping out new places to skate!

  4. Kim J LeMere
    March 7, 2021 / 2:22 pm

    I have family members who suffers and there struggle is real. I do recall how long Feb – March felt when we lived in Wisconsin. I need to see the sun, even if its sitting on my porch in the sun. Its been nice to live where the winters don’t lock me inside for so many months. I’m glad you got help for your struggles, and choose to discuss it out loud

  5. March 7, 2021 / 2:32 pm

    I’ve been using a light box for SAD for over 15 years, from about October through March or April, or whenever I can get outside sunshine regularly. Sometimes I forget to start it early enough in the season, but then I can start to tell. That said, even with the light box, February and March often feel like a slog here in the Upper Midwest. I don’t feel like I’m as productive and my energy levels are low. But knowing it will pass helps, and then if I look back on what did get accomplished, realistically, I’m often surprised.

    • thepinkshoelaces
      Author
      March 9, 2021 / 7:51 am

      I feel like it really doesn’t bother me until we’ve had a few good days – a few glimpses of Summer and the veil lifts and it’s like – wow – that was not fun.

  6. Samantha M
    March 8, 2021 / 8:21 am

    I hear you Kalissa. I also have anxiety and depression. I also take 2 medications to help manage my mental health. Seeing a psychiatrist is the reason I’m still here. I think looking after mental health is equally as important as looking after physical health, but a lot harder.
    Thanks for being open and honest 🙂

    • thepinkshoelaces
      Author
      March 9, 2021 / 7:50 am

      I love this – thank you so much for sharing Samantha 🙂 I hope you were able to find peace.

    • Gloria Gleason
      March 16, 2021 / 1:21 am

      I’m with you, Kalissa! I’ve had depression and anxiety for years and years. My psychiatrist told me I was a smiling depressive who repressed and repressed for years. But it eventually rears its ugly head and then we do the work to deal with it. Easy breathing through the nose is helpful. Walks are helpful. Hang in there. Tonsils & adenoids coming out for my son helped unbelievably. Minimal wheat and no dairy/milk really helped. Hang in there!

  7. Susan the Farm Quilter
    March 15, 2021 / 8:38 pm

    Moving from northern Nevada where we get over 300 days of sunshine a year to eastern Washington where the dratted jet stream brings a much cloudier outlook, I found that I yearned for the sunshine! I’ll happily take -5 with sunshine and no wind over the cloudy crap that brings only 176 days of sunshine I now get. It really makes a difference!! I lost almost 50% of the sunshine I was used to getting all my life…now I know what to call it!!

    • thepinkshoelaces
      Author
      March 16, 2021 / 1:58 pm

      That is a huge transition I’m sure! YIKES!

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