My heart just broke.
Carver has been so ready for preschool.. in fact, he has been TOO ready for preschool since he turned three last September.
Carver, similar to how my mother would describe me, is either all the way three years old or he talks to me like I’m having a conversation with a friend my age.
He’s known all of the “need to know” to go to preschool things since he was two. Every morning we completed his ABC puzzle over waffles before 7 am. Uppercase and lowercase. Carver is even going as far as recognizing basic sight words.
I even wanted to send him LAST year. Carver was born on September 16th, 2016 at 1:04 am. The cutoff for school is September 15th birthdays, an hour and 4 minutes after the school cutoff.
We’ve been talking about it for so long, watching the older kids get on the bus every morning. He adores our bus driver Jerry who also is a family friend. Carver couldn’t wait to ride his bus.
All this to say, he is READY for preschool and I WANT him in preschool.
But now we aren’t sure. We aren’t sure the risk is worth the reward of sending him. Of all the years that are optional, 3 year old preschool is optional. Will he even be able to play with his friends? Share toys? Will he have to keep a mask on the whole time? Will it be more like a sterile regimen or an actual fun/safe playing learning environment?
I think like many other parents and schools are feeling, there is just too much unknown. I’ve talked it over with Craig and with my mom and everyone else but Carver.
So today when he made a reference to going to preschool, I started explaining that he might not be able to go to preschool this year.
“Cuz of the corona virus?”
”I don’t want to get sick.”
“That’s right Carver. And we don’t want to get anyone else sick.”
“I can wear a mask at preschool!”
“We still aren’t sure if it is the best choice.”
“Okay mom. But mom, I am hating this.”
Oh sweet boy. I almost corrected his language, I was never allowed to say “hate” growing up – only greatly dislike. Well, I’m going to let this one slide because Carver, I am HATING this too.
”Mommy, are you hating this too?”
Yes baby boy. I am. It’s so hard to know what is right or wrong, what is too cautious and what is too reckless. Who knows what the next month will bring?
He misses his friends so much, he misses coming into Walmart with me, He might not even remember what a world without masks looks like and now he might miss preschool which we have all been looking forward to for so long.
The innocence and honesty of those few words, “Mom I am hating this” out of my three going on thirty year old little boy broke my heart.
Me too Carv, me too.
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