Do you guys remember how hopeful we all felt for the new decade about a month ago? And here we are 27 days into the month and I have nothing to show for anything.
My house is just as messy. My body is just as much weight as it was then. I’m no closer to smashing my goal to run a 10K or half marathon. My gym membership remains unused.
I’m essentially the same person I was 30 days ago. I’m trying to come to terms with my failed New Year’s resolutions.
Life got in the way hard this month. We started out January 2nd in the ER with Gannon. He’s vomited at least 75% of the days this month. The stomach bug has all run through our house. We’ve all at least had a cold once if not twice. We went on a vacation which was out of our normal routine. We’ve made a trip to Iowa City.
Before I know it I’m back to working an insane amount of hours between my full-time job, my regular part-time job, and the 24 hours of clinical/week I picked up on top of that. That all starts this week.
Our restaurant budget was out of control this month eating out and getting a quick bite to eat here or there. I haven’t meal prepped like I wanted to. Carvers had hotdogs for supper more times than I’d like to admit.
I blogged about how I was going to give up fried food for the month. I was about to place an order at work to have delivery and one of my coworkers reminded me that I was giving up fried food for the month. Whoops.
I was planning on drinking more water every day. I’ve not been loving the taste of water lately and I decided I would drink more Powerade zero. The last two times I’ve gone to Walmart they’ve been out. I can’t seem to stomach coffee these days either for some odd reason. Needless to say my intake of fluids has been rather poor leaving me feeling dehydrated. I know I feel better when I drink water why don’t I just do it?
A friend asked me the other day how my half marathon training was going and it made me stop and think. When things get hard, when I am not in my normal routine, when the kids are sick, when the planets are not aligned my auto pilot is unhealthy.
When I am my best self I make time for me.
When I am my best self, I drink enough water. When I am my best self I go to the gym.
When I am my best self I limit time on my phone. When I am my best self I read three books a night to Carver and Gannon.
When I am my best self I don’t eat fried food. When I am my best self Craig and I have date nights.
When I am my best self, I make healthy meals for myself and my family.
When I’m just me, when I’m on autopilot, I’m not that healthy.
What on God’s green earth made me think I could be a brand new person over night? Something about the change of a calendar was supposed to magically make my life easier and give me 12 more hours in a day? I don’t think so.
So if time has slipped away from you, if you’ve forgotten your New Years Resolution already, if you are like me and you are just the same person you were a month ago, you’re not alone.
I am enough. I am enough. I am enough.
I don’t need to change me. The turn of the calendar does not need to change me.
It doesn’t need to change you either. You are enough.
Sometimes self care isn’t caring at all. And Self care is definitely not beating yourself up for not keeping up resolutions.
Instead I’m, I’m proud of myself for keeping up with the blog through it all!
I’m proud of myself for taking time to REST when I’m sick.
I’m proud of myself for keeping up with the laundry through this all!
I’m proud of myself for not talking myself out of vacation last week.
I’m proud of myself for managing every other category on my budget.
I’m proud of myself for being able to be proud of myself even when I’m not my best self. Cheers to that!
That’s all I have for today folks! See you tomorrow!