Out of the Mouths of Babes: A Case of the Funnies with Carver John

Carver is 3.5 years old. The other day he threw a fit and decided that he didn’t want to be 3 anymore. I asked him if he wanted to be four or to be two and he said he wanted to be “nothing.”


He walked in on me in the bathroom one day and said “Mommy do you have your period?” I said yes. He said “Oh. Good for you mommy. That is normal. You want privacy?” and he shut the door.


I was changing my shirt and he said “Mommy what are those?” pointing to my stretchmarks. I told him those are my stretch marks from when I had him and Gannon in my tummy. He says “Me no like them.” UGH it took everything in me to say, “I LOVE my baby stripes because that means I got to have a baby!” Now every time he sees them, and sometimes he will lift up my shirt and kiss my baby stripes and he tells me “I love your baby stripes mommy!”


Earlier today Carver couldn’t clean up any legos at childcare because he had a baby in his tummy and when the baby came out he was going to have to build a toy for the baby with those legos.


Carver and I were watching the bachelor. Now before you judge my parenting choices, listen to this hilarious conversation.

We are watching all of the girls come out of the limo to meet Peter.

Me: He is meeting all of the girls to see which one he wants to marry.
Carver: I think he should marry the
one with the sprinkles.
Me: Do you mean the sparkles?
Carver: Yeah with the sprinkles on hers dress.


I hear giggling after I put the boys to bed (in separate rooms and separate beds) and then took a shower…

Gannon is sound asleep and Carver is…well… being himself and snuck into Gannon’s crib.

He was being so quiet and of course this is in the dark and he was trying to hide under his blankie. I honestly didn’t see him but I could hear him breathing.

“Carver?”

“Me need to take care of Gannon mommy! Don’t put me back in my room!”


Me: Carver can you please go get Gannon a Kleenex?
Carver: Yeah
*several moments pass*
Me: Carver can you go get him a Kleenex now?
Carver: I said YEAH
Me: Then go do it!!
Carver: Me accidentally watching TV right now. In a moment.


Narrator: It was a rough morning in the Friedman house.
*sniff sniff*
“Look mommy!”
*wipes tears away*
“me change my attitude!”
Narrator: He did not change his attitude.


Carver is currently throwing a fit after discovering all the inaccuracies of his toy combine compared to a real combine.

“Mommy, this will not work at ALL!” 


*bang bang bang bang*
“CARVER QUIT KICKING THE CUPBOARD”
*silence*
*bang bang bang bang bang”
“CARVER JOHN FRIEDMAN I SAID QUIT KICKING THE CUPBOARD!!”
“I’m not kicking it with my feet! That’s my ELBOW!!”
*bang bang bang bang*


Current state of the Friedman living room courtesy of a three year old’s imagination:

“MOMMY! You like my boat?!”


“Me miss ours old car”
“Me sad ruby died”
“Me miss my Christmas tree”
“Me sad to go to the cemetery”
“Me miss papa moo”
“Me want to drive ours old car”
“Let’s build our Christmas tree”
“Why was there a snow storm?”
“Is it a secret why there is a snow storm?”
“Daddy is it a secret?”
“Me miss grandma Joey”
“It’s so hard to wait”
“What are the dells?”
“Mommy I can’t see the waterpark”
“My buckle is too tight”
“What does a yellow combine do?”
“Me asking daddy not you mommy!”
“What color is the sky?”
“Me miss ours old car.”
“I seen a big black tractor a very huge big time ago.”
“What color is white?”
“What color is wood?”
“Is it a secret?”
“Where is the water park?”
“Hold on tight we are going to turn soon.”
“Mommy hold on tight!!!”
“Daddy hold on tight and you need to drive and do the turn!!”
“Me told you to turn.”
“Look mom a forest!”
“We are not in the forest yet.”
“We not need fuel.”
“Me told you to turn!”
“Mommy me please go to to to to to to to to……what?”
“Look at all of these trees grow like a weed.”
“Look at these trees they are growing.”
“Maybe them are woods maybe.
“Maybe then are woods maybe mom.”
“Mommy there is a bear in those woods.”
“Mommy you get the bear and you not shoot it.”
“Snakes are scary too mom.”
“Daddy you have a snake on yours game right daddy?”
“Let’s play cowboys later.”
“The dells are right by the waterpark.”
“Mommy me like Dells.”
“Daddy it’s so hard to wait for a waterpark!”
“Mommy please play my birthday party song.”
“Me like birthday party songs.
“Me LIKE BIRTHDAY PARTY SONGS PLEASE!”
“Please please please”
“My hands are all messy so me go to the waterpark and clean them.”
“It’s so hard to just wait and wait and just wait mommy.”

This has been 30 seconds in the car with Carver.

(I literally typed this all as he was saying it)


About a half hour later, I was teasing Carver and said “Me miss ours old car!” Without missing a beat he yells “GO BUY IT THEN MOM!”


Carver brought me a tampon the other day and asked “Is this a band aid for yours ‘gina?” Not a bad description!


That’s all for now folks! Stay tuned!

Family night at the Kramer house!

I had the best night last week.

Craig hadn’t met our new nephew JASPER yet. Kayla brought him up north to my mom’s house to visit! My sister Kelli was there with my niece Georgia. Craig and I brought the boys, Karl was there too! It was so much fun!

Comparing forehead wrinkles

We all just hung out, had a few drinks, made some pizza and played with the kiddos! We all get along pretty good and even more so now after having kids. We were missing our brother Buck, his girlfriend Lora and their kids Scotty and Lucy.

Kelli let Carver “write” all of the birthdays in her planner. This is so cringey. NO ONE writes in my planner but me! Kelli is so brave and Carver had so much fun he stopped a few times mid-writing to give Kelli a hug and tell her he loved her.

Here is Auntie Kelli with the cousin twins Gannon and Georgia! They are having a joint birthday party next weekend when they turn one! Kelli is so good with kids. She’s so naturally maternal. We all made pizza/supper and she kept the kids occupied.

I got to do one of my favorite things: take pictures. I told you last week that I invested in my new Macbook Pro. Well, now my eyes are set on a DSLR camera so I can launch into photography. As for now, I have a lot of fun with my iPhone 11. I love catching candid photos. Check these out:

Then it was time to meet cousin Carver. He did SO WELL with him. Jasper on the other hand Jasper did not do so well with Carver until he got his passy. Carver did so well and was even rubbing his head. He just loves babies, he always has.

While we had good lighting we thought we would try and get a few cousin pictures. You can see how well that went:

We love family nights and this one was especially fun!I can’t wait to watch all these cousins grow up together! What a fun bunch!

Thanks for tuning in! See you all again tomorrow!


Also – let’s stay in touch! If I came out with a newsletter – would you subscribe? Let’s be more than friends… and by that I mean can I slide into your inbox once in awhile? No spam, I promise! Your email is safe with me.

6 Years and Counting

Let’s go back to July 2013.

My parents just bought a fixer upper in Waucoma. I was about to move off to college and start the nursing program in about a month. My brother was just about to get married in August. Hobbies included singing and songwriting, playing guitar, heading to the river with my best friend Regan, and daydreaming about having a boyfriend.

Craig and I met when I was barely 18 and he was 19 at a parking lot party.

We both went to the same community college. I was seeing a guy and he was seeing a girl. My guy had asked me to meet him at a party after work. His girl drug him along to this party.

I had just gotten off work as a CNA at a nursing home. I still lived at home – I was about a month away from moving out. I still had to call mom and ask permission to be able to go out after work. She said I had to be home at midnight and I had just gotten off work at 10 pm.

I showed up in my scrubs and I took my hair out of the braids I had in. Craig said that was the first thing he noticed about me was my big wavy hair.

I was one of three girls at the party. It was Craig’s girl, my future roommate, and me. I was new to the crowd and I don’t mean to brag, but I was the life of the party in a sea of drunk single college boys.

This is the only picture I have from the night we met – I can’t remember any of these guys’ names. Also note – Craig is not in the picture either.

“Are you wearing scrubs?” Someone asked me from the row of diesel pick ups. I said “Yeah?” Craig says I looked at him like I was dumb and I went back to talking to the other guys.

I was giving them my number when Craig (stumbled) up to our group and also put my number in his phone. He asked me what name I should put in with the phone number. I said “Kalissa Kramer” – he reaches his hand out to greet me.

I can still remember that smile. If I close my eyes I see it in my mind like it was yesterday. The fluorescent lights in the parking lot shining behind him, his braces he was trying so hard to hide, his black baseball cap and plaid striped shirt. Later he told me he was about 18 Coors lights in and had to run home to his apartment from the cops through a corn field.

As I’m laying in bed typing this blog post we cannot remember what we talked about after that. I know he apologized for asking such a stupid question: Are you wearing scrubs? I know we chatted about my job in the nursing home. I know he was trying so hard to be sober. I know I got swept away in another conversation after that.

The guy I came with and the girl he came with ditched the both of us and rumor has it someone caught them together in a closet later that night.

Before I got home I had a text on my phone from him introducing himself again to make sure I had his number. We ended up texting after I got home and fell sleep with my phone in my hand. I was performing at the Jones county fair. Craig was on a field trip to the big John Deere factory. We were texting non stop…but I was also texting the rest of the guys in his class too.

About two days later, the night he came home from his John Deere field trip, I was scheduled to work in the nursing home 2 pm – 10 pm again. I had been texting about 3 different guys I had met that night. I had a “date” set up with one of them at 10 pm when I got off of work. His name was John. He texted me and cancelled on me claiming he had food poisoning. I praise God every day he had food poisoning.

I had permission to go out, I wasn’t going to waste that. So I called Craig. I asked him if he would come and meet me at the Whippy Dip (a Decorah ice cream shop) at 10 pm and even though they close at 10 pm, could you buy us both ice cream so we can have ice cream when I get there?

Craig said yes right away.

He met me there after work and we talked and talked and talked until it was way too far after my curfew. I thought it was weird that I had ice cream and he didn’t. The conversation was so natural.

I was driving home and I didn’t see his headlights following me to Calmar. So I called him. I said “I just want to make sure you didn’t have any car problems and that you’re on the road.” He laughed and said he was fine. Then with all the nerves that I had I asked him, “Can I see you again?” and he said YES.

After I hung up with him, around 12 am, I left a voicemail on my sister’s telephone telling her I just met the man I was going to marry.

We started dating the next day. He asked me if I would be his girlfriend. It was an immediate and enthusiastic YES. He came over that night and met my parents. We got so lost in conversation at 3 am we finally looked up and I kicked Craig out before my dad got up for chores.

We met July 2013 when I was 18 and he was 19

Taken on my parent’s couch on my Samsung Electrify 🙂
At one point I was grounded and wasn’t allowed to go on a date with Craig while I still was living at home…so I convinced my parents to let him be grounded with me…and we fell asleep 🙂

We moved in together November 2013

Black Friday Shopping the year we met – it was COLD.
Celebrating Craig’s 20th birthday in Dubuque at Texas Roadhouse. What a FUN weekend. He got on the horse and yelled BANG BANG IT’s MY BIRTHDAY for free dessert 🙂

We got engaged August 2014 when I was 19 and he was 20

Our engagement pictures – I wish someone would have told me NOT TO WEAR BROWN AND BLACK TOGETHER! Also – Check out Craig’s baby face 🙂

We got married September 2015 when I was 20 and he was 21

We bought our first home in November 2015

We had our first child, Carver John Friedman in September 2016 when I was 21 and he was 22

I was moments from giving birth in this picture – epidurals make everything better
Carver’s third birthday party

We had our second child, Gannon Jospeph Friedman in February of 2019 when I was 23 and he was 25

The rest is history.

On our 6 year anniversary of meeting each other
Our boys <3
Our most recent photo together 🙂

There you have it folks! A modern day love story.

The Friedman Fam’s Fiascoes

In no particular order, here is a conglomeration of recent happenings of the Friedman home:


Gannon and Carver Got their Hairs Cut!

A dear family friend of ours cuts hair after her full time job on Wednesday nights. She has always cut the boy’s hair. This was Gannon’s second hair cut! He did SO GOOD!

Carver was always so horrible getting his hair cut we ended up having to hold him down. We did everything to try and make it as “normal” as possible – Tara came to my mom’s house, I held him, Grandma and Grandpa were there, he didn’t have to wear the cape – still he just screamed and screamed. It was a nightmare for all of us.

One day, we were walking by Cost Cutters at WalMart. On a whim – I have no idea why I thought it would work – I took him in. A lady named Rita cut his hair and he was perfect. He sat so still for her – even almost fell asleep! Ever since then he’s been perfect getting his hair cut and giggles through it.

My niece Georgia tagged along and my mom got her hair cut too! We all love Tara!

There is a nice little play area on the other half of the salon so the kids stayed busy. Doesn’t my Gannon look so handsome? Now I have to get Craig to the salon…he’s getting a bit wooly.


Ear Infection Strikes Again…

Here we are at the clinic. Gannon did not sleep at all on Tuesday night. He was inconsolable and had an AWFUL cough. I made an appointment for him Wednesday afternoon. I ended up bringing my niece Georgia along to get her ears re checked as she had an ear infection last week. Kelli was working at the hospital – on her break she came down to the clinic to take Georgia to her appointment.

We popped Gannon out of his car seat and ugghhhhhh…bright green pus draining out of his left ear. His eardrum ruptured. I had just had him into the clinic on Friday so between Friday and Wednesday he got an ear infection and apparently it got bad enough to rupture his ear drum. He really only had ANY symptoms on that Tuesday night. Poor fellow. For some reason whenever Gannon gets a respiratory virus (he’s coughing a lot) his belly acts up that much worse so I’ve been having to decompress his belly with the rectal catheter this week.

This is ear infection #7 for Gannon and the third time his ear drum has ruptured. Back in August it just drained and drained for a month straight. He will be referred on to ENT for tubes and maybe I can talk his ENT doctor into taking his adenoids out then too just because that really helped Carver.

Carver is ALSO on antibiotics for an ear infection. Carver has had 3 sets of tubes and his adenoids out. He’s had 3 ear infections since last May so he is also heading back to ENT with Gannon on Tuesday. UGH!

Georgia’s double ear infection did clear but it took 3 shots of antibiotics!

Us Kramer girls can’t make ears, noses, or throats right!


Breakfast on the GO!

I’ve had plenty of EARLY mornings (like 0350 wake up call!) this week but I cannot justify skipping breakfast! Over the last weekend I chopped up some ham to have ready in the fridge. I discovered something wonderful at Walmart to make my on the go scrambled eggs even more delicious: FROZEN CILANTRO!

They are frozen in little cubes like this, toss it in the pan and WALAH! Your scrambled eggs went from boring to AWESOME!

Ham + 3 eggs + Parmesean Cheese + Chopped Frozen Spinach + Ham + Cilantro + Garlic Salt + Pepper = YUM!

It usually keeps me satisfied until my late lunch at 1 pm and I eat it in the car on my way to wherever I happened to be headed that day!


Gannon has mastered the pouty face!

I feel like this one is pretty self explanatory! Usually this face comes after,

“Don’t play in Betsy’s water bowl!”


PIZZA SALE!!!

I feel like this is blog worthy: Our FAVORITE place to order pizza from is running a special on their supreme pizza – A LARGE SUPREME FOR ONLY $13.00 THE ENTIRE MONTH OF FEBRUARY! HECK YEAH! And Carver doesn’t mind as long as the toppings come off (hence why he has no toppings on his pizza!) We always add sauerkraut and pineapple!

Also – thank you to all 204 of you who participated in my poll on The Pink Shoelaces Facebook page! OBVIOUSLY pineapple ON PIZZA wins!


FENDER BENDER!

I backed into my mom’s garbage can. It was a whole ordeal that made me 20 minutes late for my orthodontics appointment. For the record, the garbage can was NOT in the way, I just turned too soon. UGH! I did not hit it as hard as it seems but oh well.


About that laundry…

Good news: All of the clothes are CLEAN!

Bad news: None of the clothes are sorted, folded, or put away.

I’m on day 5 of 16 in a row. To say that laundry hasn’t been my first priority is an understatement. The boys have clothes neatly laid out for them, I have clean scrubs (which is all I’ve been wearing these days anyway) and Craig doesn’t need clean clothes to work on a farm so WIN WIN. Judge if you want! This is my real laundry room.


That’s all I have for today folks! Check back tomorrow for a new post published at 0530!

Carver and the Mysterious Brown Substance in our Bed Sheets…

Carver is not a good sleeper.

I love him dearly but Oh. My. Gosh. Carver does not sleep well.

“Look Mom! Me a TORTOISE!”

This has gotten progressively worse since he’s gotten older and especially since my Dad died. Usually around 3 am he will crawl into our bed until I kick him back into his bed and then he’ll wake up at 5 and tell me he’s hungry and thirsty and then back to his room and then crawl in bed with Gannon and wake him up and blah blah blah. Bottom line, Carver has been driving us crazy at night.

We’ve tried establishing a routine. We get our jammers (pajamas) and a paw patrol (night time pull up) and then we play favorites. Favorites is a game we play. Carver asks each of us what our favorite part of the day is and then he asks us each what made us mad or sad or angry and then we share what we want to do tomorrow.

Then we tuck him in, we do a huggie and a kissy and an ugga mugga (which is from Daniel Tiger – like an eskimo kiss we rub noses together). Then we have to leave the light on and the door open and then we HAVE to go to bed otherwise he will sit on top of the stairs and cry until we come to bed.

We thought we were doing everything right. Carver never once co-slept in our bed as a baby. He was always in his crib from DAY ONE. Well then he started taking naps with me in our bed and then when he was sick he would sleep in our bed and when there are fire booms (fire works) he sleeps in our bed and then when there is thunder he sleeps in our bed… UGH!

Mostly Carver is afraid of the dark. He really wants Gannon to start sleeping in his room with him but I told Carver he has to be brave enough to leave his light off all through the night.

Carver has been SO GOOD at daycare the last few weeks, I decided to order him a present. On Tuesday he snuggled up and we picked out a night light on Amazon. I even let him hit the “order” button, Carver said “Where is it?!” I explained it won’t come until Thursday which is still really quick. He said “It’s so hard to wait!!”

It was so hard to wait. He asked about it incessantly until the amazon box FINALLY arrived on Thursday! We immediately turned it on and plugged it in. It is really cool. Check it out:

You can opt to turn the stars on or off but we have it set with the stars and the moon. We also have it set to flash between different colors. As cool as it may be… IT DOES NOT KEEP CARVER IN BED!

But…if you want one, you can find it on Amazon here: https://amzn.to/37TDyAi

This morning I woke up to Carver in my bed AGAIN. Not only that, but a mysterious brown substance all over my legs and Gannon’s face…

Guys – I had to smell it to be sure but it was….

CHOCOLATE!

I interrogated an awfully guilty looking Carver who admitted to tucking chocolate chips into his moose pajamas pocket in the middle of the night, sneaking back upstairs leaving smeary chocolate all over our bed, my legs, and Gannon’s face.

The other morning I went to wake him up and he ripped a piece of paper into a million tiny pieces and sprinkled it all over his bedroom.

*sigh* Well guys, I’m open for suggestions. I have no idea. I read an article about how damaging it can be for little kids to be kept behind closed doors that they can’t open but I think we need to shut his door at night or put some kind of lock on it. Earlier this Summer he got out of bed in the night and somehow fell and had to get staples in his head!

That boy is giving me grey hair at the ripe age of 24. Pray for me friends.

WISCONSIN DELLS!

If you’re reading this, I am laying poolside at an indoor water park in Wisconsin probably consuming a giant margarita.

We go to Wisconsin Dells every January/February. The first year, we went without Carver. He was only three months old at the time.

We enjoyed the swim up bar and the outdoor adults only hot tub just a little too much. Craig snapped this picture of me passed out poolside. Whoops. You can buy those GIANT margarita cups and refills are much cheaper then. We bring our cups back every year.

We have the same resort we love to go to: Wilderness. They run amazing week day deals for only $119 a night with access to 4 of their giant indoor water parks. There is almost TOO MUCH to do in just a few days so we don’t mind going back every year.

We have our favorite restaurants we go to every year too. We love Denny’s Diner and ordering Unos Pizzeria! We had the same waiter two years in a row and he remembered us! We plan to go there for breakfast every morning we are in town.

In 2018 when Carver was a year and a half we took him with:

We had to come home a day early because Craig needed an emergency root canal but we still had an amazing time while we were there!

It is so empty compared to during the Summer that we usually get upgraded in our rooms or get to move much closer to the pool!

This year will be interesting with TWO kids! Gannon is still pretty little yet but he just adores being in the water – even more than Carver.

We have such a busy month coming up it will be so nice to fit in some FUN and quality time even if it isn’t really next to a beach.

So for now, I am….

(but there will still be blog posts scheduled so come back tomorrow morning)