I’M BACK!

I had a pity party for myself on Monday after some blog readers left some nasty comments. I was sad and mopy and didn’t get to sleep after working overnights. It. Was. ROUGH. The whole weekend was rough. My anxiety was getting the best of me.

YES!

One thing after another – Gannon’s appointment we were so looking forward to in Milwaukee got cancelled, I scrambled to find a babysitter for the next two weeks until childcare opens back up again, the boys wouldn’t nap at the same time, I was plain old exhausted and felt like I couldn’t catch a break.

When Craig got home, everything got better. He came in the kitchen, grabbed a bag of chips and we talked and talked. He made me laugh and before I knew it we were all dancing to Taylor Swift’s “Shake it off” in the kitchen – the best way I know how to turn my mood around. We had supper, the boys got a bath, we cleaned the house and put the boys to bed early.

I found a magical feature of my house – our jacuzzi. You guys, I’ve lived in this house for 5 YEARS and I’ve always known the downstairs tub has the jets but I’ve only turned them on once or twice. This was always my mom’s advice: When you’re stressed, take a bath. I had never listened to her. I remember her taking baths when we were kids. I remember her telling me to “make sure I took a bath” after I came home from the hospital with the boys. I never did.

YOU GUYS. TAKE THE DAMN BATH!

I enjoyed it so much I even took one again tonight! Why have I not been doing this? It was so relaxing with a drink and my air pods in, watching my new series “Little Fires Everywhere” on Netflix (yay Reece Whitherspoon) I turn the jets on max and let the bubbles spill over.

I swear you guys I’m a new woman. While I was in the bath, I brainstormed ways to help change my attitude. I’m in a state of anxiety and fear working as an ER nurse in the midst of a pandemic. I’m so afraid our healthcare system will be overrun and I won’t be able to help people. I’m afraid I won’t have the equipment I need to protect myself and my family from this virus. I was pretty real about that on Monday’s blog post and it wasn’t received well.

I’ve decided I’m going to implement a few things into my self care routine to help ward off my racing thoughts. These are directed as instructions to myself.

  1. TAKE THE DAMN BATH! Even if you feel like you don’t have time. Just do it!
  2. Limit. Social. Media. I think that is a huge part of what is feeding my fear which many of my friends and coworkers admit to as well.
  3. Move your body. I went on a walk today with mom and the boys, it was so great to get out of the house! Look how cute my little Gannon was in his snow suit! I’m going to make this a daily habit if my work schedule allows.
  4. Do hair and makeup – even if you’re not leaving the house. It makes me feel more human like.
  5. Eat scheduled meals if possible instead of grazing throughout the day.
  6. Forget the haters. Connect with people who you know will lift you up.
  7. Be nice to yourself. Just BE. NICE. honestly some of the comments left on my blog that got me so upset in the first place are insecurities I have and things my inner critic tells me every day.

So that’s what I’m up to today guys! It was a great day yesterday and Monday is in the rearview mirror. I’m working on growing thicker skin. In 6 months I hadn’t dealt with nasty comments yet but they all came in at once on Monday and made up for it. Thank you so much for all your love and support – I’ve read all of your comments 🙂

Also – how cute is Gannon in his wittle snow suit? 🙂

19 thoughts on “I’M BACK!

  1. Amy says:

    I have not commented because I knew you would rise above it all. Opinions are like a$$ holes, everyone has one. 🙂 I love reading the good and bad. What I should say is I love reading the good and real. Thanks for keeping it real. Sometimes we don’t want to see it, but we need to.
    Take care and thank you for being on the front lines to care for us.

  2. Marilyn says:

    So happy things have turned for you. I super enjoy all of your blogs and spending time with you and your family on Facebook.
    Have a Super week

  3. Ellie says:

    I’m so glad you sound so much better this morning! No only does it lift you but all those around you! If you don’t take care of yourself then you can’t really take care of others. Just remember you will have a new day and a new start tomorrow. And most of all remember number 6.

  4. Donna T says:

    This is how I deal with stressful situations that I cannot control. I have been doing this for the last five years and it has changed my life. I silently repeat the Serenity Prayer over and over to myself when I am in a bad place. So much of our stresses are not within our control and you just need to turn it over to God. I read your blog post from Monday but did not comment. I truly thought you were having a breakdown. I am so glad you sound so much better today! I do all 7 things on your list all the time. When I take a bath I usually have a glass of wine (only 1)! I also have very thick skin from being raised by a Japanese mom so don’t let the haters get to you! Keep your head up! You are doing the best you can! Remember this is new to everyone and we are all trying to figure this out!

  5. Lynne Nicholson UK says:

    Sending you love and hugs

    I had a melt down this morning after an unexpected letter that threw me back to a bad place I thought I’d left 10 years go- I feel so stupid after it and like you am coming up with a plan to keep me mentally balanced .

    Take care of yourself and your family
    Stay safe

  6. Pam Thorne says:

    Hang in there, you’ve got this! Thank for being on the front line and caring so much about your patients! Listen to your momma. We have been there in some form or another and and we know that you’ve got to take some time for yourself to be the best you. I am a quilter and have followed your momma’s blog for a loooooong time! I am thoroughly enjoying your blog too! Hugs!

  7. Norma says:

    Yes, I read Monday’s blog but did not comment as I knew you were right on the sleep things. If I don’t sleep, I do not function well.
    Your list is great. And yeah, an overdose of social media is depressing but I have read your blog and see your heart of caring and compassion(we all know where the pink shoelaces came from) . Glad you got an attitude check, danced with your man and walked with mom and kids.
    God bless!
    Norma

  8. Sherri C says:

    So glad things are going better for you. A good hug from my hubby always helps me.

    Being outside, walking around in beautiful spring weather (Phoenix, AZ weather is really nice now) is sue to lift your spirits. It’s so good for the kiddos too.

    Love your blog!

  9. Judy says:

    So glad to see you have weathered the storm and come out stronger for it. You are an amazing young woman…keep living your life your way, Kalissa!

  10. Donna says:

    So very very glad to hear you are on the upswing. It sure is nice to get out, even with this social distancing. A walk does wonders…as well as that bath.
    Love and prayers

  11. Linda in NE says:

    #1. Gannon is just as cute a cute can be…in or out of his snowsuit!
    #2. I’m sorry people can be so mean and hurtful in their comments. Sometimes it’s just time to turn
    comments off for a while.
    #3. Just do the best you can, TAKE the time to enjoy your family and use that jacuzzi.

  12. Susan the Farm Quilter says:

    Glad you got out of that valley! Dancing and laughter is always good, and that bath sounds like prn to me!! We will get through this together…you aren’t alone!!

    • Diane Masschaele says:

      You are the best! I am a retired Critical Care Nurse from Ontario, Canada. I know exactly where you are coming from! I will never understand why some people have to be so nasty! This is a very difficult time for people but especially difficult for front line workers because this pandemic is “ right in their face “. Be kind to yourself. You’ve got this! 👍

  13. Cheryl says:

    I call lots of people opinionaters because every one of them has an opinion and think they have a vote. I don’t read them. If you are blogger, you have to have thick skin. I’m always surprised when I catch the fact that there has been a big controversy on various quilter site because I rarely read the commentary. I think being sleep deprived creates vulnerability. Check in with your mom and be glad for her…she is your true north about reality.

  14. Karen says:

    I’m so glad you found your way past this! I knew you would with the great support system you have! Unfortunately there are and probably always will be people who just can’t mind their own business if they can’t be supportive. Take care of You first so that you can do your best at taking care of family, friends, patients, etc. Very proud of you as I’m sure are your family, friends and colleagues and your dad would be too. Take care!

  15. Donna T says:

    Kalissa another good thing to do is have a gratitude journal. I got this from Oprah so that tells you how long I have been doing it! You write down five things you are grateful for every day. Sometimes it may just be very simple things like sunshine!

  16. Carolyn Sullivan says:

    You are so sweet, I find it hard to believe that people who not be nice back. But as nurse young I both know that There are A$$ holes everywhere. Still it can get you down. I’m having a lot of anxiety, fears, etc. Afraid I will get this…. Afraid DH will get this. and fears, Worry, STEALS your Joy. I personally don’t like to take soaking tub baths, but I hear you. Maybe I should……

Leave a Reply to Marilyn Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *