The Past Few Days…

Not much to report on the home front. I do have just a few things to share though!


We put hearts up in our window! Have you seen this yet? People in the community are sending messaged of hope by decorating their windows and doors with hearts so people walking by can see! They’ve also done a “bear hunt” where people hide teddy bears in their windows or on their mailbox. A local woodworking shop in Waucoma carved out Easter eggs for people to paint, decorate and hang in their windows so families can go on an Easter egg hunt around town! The weather looks great – all in the 50s this week so we plan on walking around town and checking it all out!


We are LOVING HelloFresh – a grocery meal delivery service – more on that in another blog post!


Carver had an early morning ER visit for croup! This isn’t his first rodeo, Carver had croup for what seems like months at a time when he was 6 months through 2 years. He woke up at 11:30 pm with that terrible barky high pitched cough and said “Mommy, me can’t breathe.” He was pretty scared but was loving the tractor coloring pages while we waited. He’s still not much better after getting more steroids. My coworkers took such good care of him 🙂 He colored pictures for them all.


Even through quarantine, Mom still can’t help but make us food! The other day she sent us cinnamon rolls. She sent us brownies yesterday and today burritos! Between the 4 of us we ate probably 12 cinnamon rolls – Gannon ate one all by himself!


Gannon LOVES these giant pillows and watches TV just like this! He will stand up and then belly flop on the pillow.

Gannon is working on my sign language. He does PLEASE all the time and now he is doing YES and is able to say BA. The other day he said “Ma, Ba, Ma, Ba” and then did the sign for please. I said “Do you want a baba” (bottle) and he nodded his head so big for YES!


Sorry guys, short and sweet blog post for today. I’ll update you as the week goes on!



It’s Okay to Grieve.

In the past two weeks, we have all lost something.

Some have lost our independence.

Some have lost our autonomy.

Some have lost income.

Some have cancelled weddings.

Some have lost trust in their health.

Some feel betrayed by their bodies.

Some have lost a loved one.

Some have lost their sense of security.

Some have lost their sense of control.

Just because you still have income, doesn’t mean you have to be grateful for your job during this time.

Just because you have more time with your kids, doesn’t mean you can’t grieve the loss of your job or income or investments.

Just because you are healthy, doesn’t mean you can’t feel angry or upset with cancelled plans.

Just because you have this time off, doesn’t mean it has to be productive.

Give yourself permission to cry.

Give yourself permission to feel angry and frustrated.

Give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you are feeling.

Just because someone has it worse than you, doesn’t mean you can’t feel sad.

Just because someone has it better than you, doesn’t mean you can’t feel happy.

Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re overreacting or under-reacting.

Don’t let anyone tell you “you should be grateful.”

Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t find joy in these moments. Don’t let anyone tell you you have to.

If it feels better to watch the news and know all there is to know about this terrible virus, do it.

If it feels better to shut your phone and computer off for the day because you can’t read one more post about the virus, do it.

If you’re so anxious you can’t focus, you aren’t alone.

If you’re so angry you need to take a time out, you aren’t alone.

If you cried on your way to work today, you aren’t alone.

If you don’t know what the big deal is, you aren’t alone.

If you took your frustration out on an undeserving person in a moment of weakness, you aren’t alone.

Give yourself grace. Give others grace.

We don’t know how to do this. But we don’t know how to do this together.

So laugh if it feels good. Cry if it feels right.

Turn the TV on and let the kids eat hot dogs for every meal.

We are all doing the best we can in uncharted territories.

We are all doing the best we can to find the light in every day.

We are all deserving of second chances to make things right.

Most importantly, feel all the feelings.

It is okay to be scared.

It is okay to be angry.

It is okay to be anxious.

It is okay to grieve the loss of normalcy.

It is okay to grieve.

Kalissa

A Walk to Remember

Mom and I have been walking every day. We keep our social distance of course. It’s so hard to tell Carver that he can’t hold Grandma Joey’s hand.

Yesterday was an especially long walk – the conversation kept flowing and Carver John was having so much fun!

We have to stop at every stop sign to spell out the letters. Carver is really good at letter identification but likes to read the letters backwards so we are working on reading from left to right.

We also had to stop and read the YIELD sign.

Here is the cemetery my Dad was buried in. We made a stop after we saw some commotion. The owners of the land next to the cemetery are tearing down the fence line which will look great.

Continue reading

Out of the Mouths of Babes: A Case of the Funnies with Carver John

Carver is 3.5 years old. The other day he threw a fit and decided that he didn’t want to be 3 anymore. I asked him if he wanted to be four or to be two and he said he wanted to be “nothing.”


He walked in on me in the bathroom one day and said “Mommy do you have your period?” I said yes. He said “Oh. Good for you mommy. That is normal. You want privacy?” and he shut the door.


I was changing my shirt and he said “Mommy what are those?” pointing to my stretchmarks. I told him those are my stretch marks from when I had him and Gannon in my tummy. He says “Me no like them.” UGH it took everything in me to say, “I LOVE my baby stripes because that means I got to have a baby!” Now every time he sees them, and sometimes he will lift up my shirt and kiss my baby stripes and he tells me “I love your baby stripes mommy!”


Earlier today Carver couldn’t clean up any legos at childcare because he had a baby in his tummy and when the baby came out he was going to have to build a toy for the baby with those legos.


Carver and I were watching the bachelor. Now before you judge my parenting choices, listen to this hilarious conversation.

We are watching all of the girls come out of the limo to meet Peter.

Me: He is meeting all of the girls to see which one he wants to marry.
Carver: I think he should marry the
one with the sprinkles.
Me: Do you mean the sparkles?
Carver: Yeah with the sprinkles on hers dress.


I hear giggling after I put the boys to bed (in separate rooms and separate beds) and then took a shower…

Gannon is sound asleep and Carver is…well… being himself and snuck into Gannon’s crib.

He was being so quiet and of course this is in the dark and he was trying to hide under his blankie. I honestly didn’t see him but I could hear him breathing.

“Carver?”

“Me need to take care of Gannon mommy! Don’t put me back in my room!”


Me: Carver can you please go get Gannon a Kleenex?
Carver: Yeah
*several moments pass*
Me: Carver can you go get him a Kleenex now?
Carver: I said YEAH
Me: Then go do it!!
Carver: Me accidentally watching TV right now. In a moment.


Narrator: It was a rough morning in the Friedman house.
*sniff sniff*
“Look mommy!”
*wipes tears away*
“me change my attitude!”
Narrator: He did not change his attitude.


Carver is currently throwing a fit after discovering all the inaccuracies of his toy combine compared to a real combine.

“Mommy, this will not work at ALL!” 


*bang bang bang bang*
“CARVER QUIT KICKING THE CUPBOARD”
*silence*
*bang bang bang bang bang”
“CARVER JOHN FRIEDMAN I SAID QUIT KICKING THE CUPBOARD!!”
“I’m not kicking it with my feet! That’s my ELBOW!!”
*bang bang bang bang*


Current state of the Friedman living room courtesy of a three year old’s imagination:

“MOMMY! You like my boat?!”


“Me miss ours old car”
“Me sad ruby died”
“Me miss my Christmas tree”
“Me sad to go to the cemetery”
“Me miss papa moo”
“Me want to drive ours old car”
“Let’s build our Christmas tree”
“Why was there a snow storm?”
“Is it a secret why there is a snow storm?”
“Daddy is it a secret?”
“Me miss grandma Joey”
“It’s so hard to wait”
“What are the dells?”
“Mommy I can’t see the waterpark”
“My buckle is too tight”
“What does a yellow combine do?”
“Me asking daddy not you mommy!”
“What color is the sky?”
“Me miss ours old car.”
“I seen a big black tractor a very huge big time ago.”
“What color is white?”
“What color is wood?”
“Is it a secret?”
“Where is the water park?”
“Hold on tight we are going to turn soon.”
“Mommy hold on tight!!!”
“Daddy hold on tight and you need to drive and do the turn!!”
“Me told you to turn.”
“Look mom a forest!”
“We are not in the forest yet.”
“We not need fuel.”
“Me told you to turn!”
“Mommy me please go to to to to to to to to……what?”
“Look at all of these trees grow like a weed.”
“Look at these trees they are growing.”
“Maybe them are woods maybe.
“Maybe then are woods maybe mom.”
“Mommy there is a bear in those woods.”
“Mommy you get the bear and you not shoot it.”
“Snakes are scary too mom.”
“Daddy you have a snake on yours game right daddy?”
“Let’s play cowboys later.”
“The dells are right by the waterpark.”
“Mommy me like Dells.”
“Daddy it’s so hard to wait for a waterpark!”
“Mommy please play my birthday party song.”
“Me like birthday party songs.
“Me LIKE BIRTHDAY PARTY SONGS PLEASE!”
“Please please please”
“My hands are all messy so me go to the waterpark and clean them.”
“It’s so hard to just wait and wait and just wait mommy.”

This has been 30 seconds in the car with Carver.

(I literally typed this all as he was saying it)


About a half hour later, I was teasing Carver and said “Me miss ours old car!” Without missing a beat he yells “GO BUY IT THEN MOM!”


Carver brought me a tampon the other day and asked “Is this a band aid for yours ‘gina?” Not a bad description!


That’s all for now folks! Stay tuned!

Wednesday.

Things are looking up!

  • We have secured a babysitter. Dad’s hospice nurse’s daughter is actually coming tomorrow to watch the boys for a few hours! I was so nervous to post something online (Facebook) asking for help – I didn’t want just anyone watching the boys – no matter how bad things got I really needed to know they were in good hands and I’m confident in our choice!
  • We got more formula. We made a trip of it. Craig got off work early so we could load up the boys and head to town. Now before you criticize me, the boys stayed in the vehicle at all times. They ran through the Culvers drive thru while I was in the store. I ran in to Walmart to get some essentials and to stock up for the next few weeks – COVID 19 thankfully hasn’t hit here “hard core” like it has in other areas of the state/country but I want to be prepared. A friend of mine from New York posted a video of her waiting 2 hours in line JUST to get groceries because they wold only let so many people in the store at a time. You’ll recall in my last post I was so anxious about getting Gannon’s right formula as they aren’t even shipping online orders. I got four big cans today, more diapers, they finally had baby wipes in stock and quite honestly, we are ready to be shut in for a good month. I feel much better and semi-guilty for “stock piling.” Judge if you want, I’m responsible for providing for our family. I tried to do it the right way and only buy what I need but I wasn’t actually getting what I needed (formula for example) that way.
  • Carver got a BIKE! I got a bike for my birthday when I turned three and I rode it EVERYWHERE that summer. I was at Walmart and just threw it in the cart on a whim. I needed to know he had an outlet if they close down playgrounds and streets. I can kick him outside and we live on the outskirts of town so he can ride up and down our driveway. He’s still pretty new at it but he’s catching on!
  • We did two whole miles on our walk tonight after our run to WalMart. Carver was HILARIOUS the whole time – full of questions and quirk. Everything was funny and a game. Mom says we should record him and make a vlog out of all the funny things he says on our walk. It got misty and pretty dreary towards the end.

Then towards the end of our walk, we saw this:

The doors are down, all is quiet but we do stand ready. On Wednesday, March 25, at 7:00 pm ALL IOWA FIRE DEPARTMENTS are encouraged to open their doors and turn on the lights on their trucks as a sign of strength and hope for all. Hope for all who work daily in EMS, Fire and Law enforcement to be ready, strength for those working around the clock to provide care, those who strive to find the right medicine to help, those in the food/grocery industry to feed us and those trucking daily to keep us going.

You can do your part at home, too! Turn your porch light on…Let us all know you’re fine and have hope. We ask all with red, blue, white or your department colors…Light ‘em up and turn them on. Maybe just maybe, we’ll create five minutes of smiles and peace.

We seriously have the best community ever – Watch this video:

So I get to enjoy THAT meal tomorrow night at work 🙂 Lynch Companies make up most of the business in Waucoma and we’ve known the Lynch family my whole life. What a great group of people. I definitely feel appreciated and my spirits were lifted before I head into another stretch of work.

I joked earlier last week about how I was going CRAZY with the boys all by myself. Now that we’ve adjusted, (don’t get me wrong we still have our moments), I’m so thankful to be at home with my boys. With such uncertainty, mom and I are both well aware there may come a time that I need to be living separate from the boys because of my exposure to the virus and the high demand at work. I’m soaking up all of the time I have with them while I have them close.

On a final note guys, my heart BURST right open today.

Gannon still doesn’t have any words yet at 13 months. We’ve been pushing sign language for things like “more” and “please” for months now with no real sign it was doing anything. I had left the fridge open today and Gannon crawls up to it like he always does, pulls himself up, points to the cheese slices and does sign language for “please.”

I say “Do you want cheese!?” And he giggles and does the sign for please again! And then devours that cheese slice. Guys, it’s the little things. My Gannon Jo, you can have as much cheese any day you want!

YAYY!! SO anyway, thanks for reading. Through the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between, you guys are the best <3

I’M BACK!

I had a pity party for myself on Monday after some blog readers left some nasty comments. I was sad and mopy and didn’t get to sleep after working overnights. It. Was. ROUGH. The whole weekend was rough. My anxiety was getting the best of me.

YES!

One thing after another – Gannon’s appointment we were so looking forward to in Milwaukee got cancelled, I scrambled to find a babysitter for the next two weeks until childcare opens back up again, the boys wouldn’t nap at the same time, I was plain old exhausted and felt like I couldn’t catch a break.

When Craig got home, everything got better. He came in the kitchen, grabbed a bag of chips and we talked and talked. He made me laugh and before I knew it we were all dancing to Taylor Swift’s “Shake it off” in the kitchen – the best way I know how to turn my mood around. We had supper, the boys got a bath, we cleaned the house and put the boys to bed early.

I found a magical feature of my house – our jacuzzi. You guys, I’ve lived in this house for 5 YEARS and I’ve always known the downstairs tub has the jets but I’ve only turned them on once or twice. This was always my mom’s advice: When you’re stressed, take a bath. I had never listened to her. I remember her taking baths when we were kids. I remember her telling me to “make sure I took a bath” after I came home from the hospital with the boys. I never did.

YOU GUYS. TAKE THE DAMN BATH!

I enjoyed it so much I even took one again tonight! Why have I not been doing this? It was so relaxing with a drink and my air pods in, watching my new series “Little Fires Everywhere” on Netflix (yay Reece Whitherspoon) I turn the jets on max and let the bubbles spill over.

I swear you guys I’m a new woman. While I was in the bath, I brainstormed ways to help change my attitude. I’m in a state of anxiety and fear working as an ER nurse in the midst of a pandemic. I’m so afraid our healthcare system will be overrun and I won’t be able to help people. I’m afraid I won’t have the equipment I need to protect myself and my family from this virus. I was pretty real about that on Monday’s blog post and it wasn’t received well.

I’ve decided I’m going to implement a few things into my self care routine to help ward off my racing thoughts. These are directed as instructions to myself.

  1. TAKE THE DAMN BATH! Even if you feel like you don’t have time. Just do it!
  2. Limit. Social. Media. I think that is a huge part of what is feeding my fear which many of my friends and coworkers admit to as well.
  3. Move your body. I went on a walk today with mom and the boys, it was so great to get out of the house! Look how cute my little Gannon was in his snow suit! I’m going to make this a daily habit if my work schedule allows.
  4. Do hair and makeup – even if you’re not leaving the house. It makes me feel more human like.
  5. Eat scheduled meals if possible instead of grazing throughout the day.
  6. Forget the haters. Connect with people who you know will lift you up.
  7. Be nice to yourself. Just BE. NICE. honestly some of the comments left on my blog that got me so upset in the first place are insecurities I have and things my inner critic tells me every day.

So that’s what I’m up to today guys! It was a great day yesterday and Monday is in the rearview mirror. I’m working on growing thicker skin. In 6 months I hadn’t dealt with nasty comments yet but they all came in at once on Monday and made up for it. Thank you so much for all your love and support – I’ve read all of your comments 🙂

Also – how cute is Gannon in his wittle snow suit? 🙂